Wordplay Joke

Stephen Hawking has found a new love and she is just like him.
I can see the connection.

Wordplay Joke

When I was in school I always hated resistant materials.
Mostly tasers and mace, they hurt the most.

Wordplay Joke

Dear, Lonely Hearts.
Body builder, seeks electrifying time.
Dr. Frankenstein.

Wordplay Joke

I used to drink strongbow with my mate dave, but then he got killed by an arrow...

Wordplay Joke

I've just applied for a job at Royal Mail.
I think I'll get the post.

Wordplay Joke

A guy came into my gym today.
I couldn't believe it.
I never thought Jim would ever cheat on me.

Wordplay Joke

My girlfriend has been taking a lot of smack recently.
And a fair old bit of kick and punch.

Wordplay Joke

"I want a sperm doner"
My local takeaway do weird doner kebabs.

Wordplay Joke

I see an awful lot of 'My wife is fat jokes' ....
I'm going to make a conscious effort to thin mine out now.

Wordplay Joke

Give your wife a head start on her way to 5 a day
Push her down the Apples and Pears

Wordplay Joke

My wife used to just nod and smile at my Bukkake jokes, mainly because she didn't know what it meant ...
But then one day, it hit her.

Wordplay Joke

Did you hear about that 85 year old woman who fell through the floor boards of a fruit shop.
At least she didn't fall down the apples and pears.

Wordplay Joke

Men have larger shoulders than women, broadly speaking.

Wordplay Joke

Factory-farmed salmon have been identified by scientists as containing potentially harmful levels of PCBs and dioxins.
They're always sneaking things into salmon.
Like the L.

Wordplay Joke

I remember an R.E lesson back when I was at school.
The teacher asked ' Does anyone know what a rabbi is?'
Idiot. Every eight year old knows what the plural for rabbit is.

Wordplay Joke

I remember an R.E lesson back when I was at school.
The teacher asked ' Does anyone know what a rabbi is?'
Idiot. Every eight year old knows what the plural for rabbit is.

Wordplay Joke

Can a bald person have a hairline fracture ?

Wordplay Joke

When trying on new clothes i go to a different cubicle every time. This is because i like changing rooms.

Wordplay Joke

I just sold my friend into the slave trade.
Owned.

Wordplay Joke

My wife tried to observe a minute's silence this morning, but I couldn't see it happening.

Wordplay Joke

Since my wife left me, I've become a bitter man.
Got bored of Lager

Wordplay Joke

What is the Vietnamese national table tennis team called?
The Viet Pong

Wordplay Joke

BBC Sport: "Carroll to start against France"
You know Christmas is approaching when the racist chants get festive

Wordplay Joke

I wonder what the gender of the word hermaphrodite is in french?

Wordplay Joke

There are people who believe the earth is a square on every corner of the globe