Wordplay Joke

How did I get out of Iraq?
Iran.

Wordplay Joke

A Muslim walks into a pub and the barman says, "Why the wrong place?"

Wordplay Joke

I just saw an advert for the new film: 'The Hole - Now in 3D!'
Well, surely it has to be in 3D otherwise it's just a circle.

Wordplay Joke

I'm planning on being more spontaneous in the future.

Wordplay Joke

This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club.
I was confused, I'd never met herbivore.

Wordplay Joke

I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet.
So far I've got twelve fridges.

Wordplay Joke

I smacked a Paki on the head with a hammer yesterday at 12:00.
Bang on the dot.

Wordplay Joke

Spelling is important, look! The difference between won and one:
Great Britain have just won gold.
Australia have just one gold.

Wordplay Joke

Cleavage is the only thing that you can look down on and approve of at the same time.

Wordplay Joke

To be frank, would involve changing my name

Wordplay Joke

Police searching for a missing child heard heavy breathing coming from a parked van.
But, when they looked, it was just a kid napping.

Wordplay Joke

I put a couple of 't's in my beer last night.
I think it made it better.

Wordplay Joke

At school we discussed the great rulers. I opted for the Helix 30cm shatterproof.

Wordplay Joke

I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone.

Wordplay Joke

Someone keeps adding soil to my allotment overnight. It's an absolute mystery as to why though.
The plot thickens...

Wordplay Joke

I thought my wife was happy to fully repair my jeans.
Or at least sew its seams.

Wordplay Joke

I start my job at a restaurant tomorrow.
I can't wait.

Wordplay Joke

The most common surname In China is Chang, correct me if you think that's Wong.

Wordplay Joke

I lost my mood ring.
I don't know how I feel about this.

Wordplay Joke

I asked my grandmother for "something Cuban" for my birthday, and she got me a Che Guevara shirt.
Clothes, but no cigar.

Wordplay Joke

I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.
That was a trip down memory lane.

Wordplay Joke

If anyone ever tells you they've lost their voice,
They're lying.

Wordplay Joke

A new nightclub has just opened down the road and they are offering free drinks all night for just under 20 quid...
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 19.99

Wordplay Joke

I put some body spray on last night, but I only managed to pull Anne Robinson.
It must have been the weakest Lynx.

Wordplay Joke

My girlfriend got sacked from work and then lost her appeal.
I only found her appealing because she had a well paid job.