Wordplay Joke

Its safe to say there has been an overdose of Amy Winehouse jokes.

Wordplay Joke

To brew a funky beer, you need hip hops.

Wordplay Joke

The causes of failed pregnancies are often a misconception.

Wordplay Joke

I've heard it said by women that us men keep our brains in our pants..... Well,women blow my mind.

Wordplay Joke

I keep being called a paedophile in my local area, all because I wink at young children.
Maybe I'm not playing 'Tiddlywinks' correctly.

Wordplay Joke

I've drawn Phil Taylor in the first round of the darts.... It's a pretty good likeness i think.

Wordplay Joke

I was chatting to my mate earlier when he said, "My neighbours got a lovely doberman, I wouldn't mind one."
"pinscher?" I asked.
"No, I can't do that, he lives next door." he replied.

Wordplay Joke

My new girlfriend and I are going to sleep together tonight for the first time. Fingers crossed she can take 4 fingers...
...but if I uncross them I can get a fist up there.

Wordplay Joke

I was out walking the dog when I saw my new boss playing golf. So wanting to make a good impression, I saw his ball near the hole and I shouted to him in the distance "Is this ball yours?"
He said yes so I picked it up and threw it him back.

Wordplay Joke

It took me a week to tell my girlfriend that I tested positive for HIV.
My stutter must be getting worse.

Wordplay Joke

I finally gave up wearing my smoking jacket. mainly because of the patches on the elbows.

Wordplay Joke

I've been doing allsorts recently.
Although, i'm not partial to liquorice.

Wordplay Joke

I've had a new phone and lost my contacts.
The phones quite good but I cant see a thing.

Wordplay Joke

what do you called a lemon that helps..
lemonade

Wordplay Joke

Positivity is a definite no-no.

Wordplay Joke

I made my girlfriend my wallpaper but she didn't have enough skin for me to finish.

Wordplay Joke

Walked into a nightclub toilet to get some condoms. The machine there only sold fragrance-free condoms but it was out of odour.

Wordplay Joke

Just finished reading a book about podiatry.
The footnotes were excellent.

Wordplay Joke

I've just been arrested for grooming several kids.
The farmer took exception to the hairstyle I gave his baby goats apparently.

Wordplay Joke

Who's that gorgeous girl?
-- Her? She changes her boyfriend almost every day!
Oh! Gets around a bit, does she?
-- No. He's incontinent.

Wordplay Joke

I asked my wife to pick the car up from the garage as I was working and she actually did.
Perhaps I mistook all that fat for muscle.

Wordplay Joke

There are three farmers in front of you. Which one will be able to supply you with drugs?
Farmer C.

Wordplay Joke

They say What comes around goes around
I've been trying it for weeks

Wordplay Joke

I've just noticed Ocypete, Aello and Thyella on my scrotal sack.
I think I've caught the Harpies.

Wordplay Joke

I'm the best at sponsored silences, if I don't say so myself.