Wordplay Joke

Sky News : 'At Least 12 Die In China Factory Blast'.
There must have been plates, cups and bowls everywhere.

Wordplay Joke

Sky News: OAP used RAF move to stop Robber.
He must have flown at him.

Wordplay Joke

I met a soap star today.
It was the woman from the Dove adverts.

Wordplay Joke

I predict that one day, speaking clocks will rule the world .... only time will tell.

Wordplay Joke

I got accused of stealing the mugs at work
Why would I do it? Its just not my cup of tea

Wordplay Joke

I reduced the wife to tears last night.
I took away her scissors.

Wordplay Joke

I boned my wife while she was asleep last night.
You should have seen her face when she woke up this morning and found she'd been completely filleted.

Wordplay Joke

So Russel Crowe challenged an Australian newspaper columnist to a cycle duel, and lost.
He still beat her!

Wordplay Joke

I really would kill to be a necrophiliac.

Wordplay Joke

3 Nails + 1 Cross = 4 Given

Wordplay Joke

As the inventor of the wheel always said.
"Thats the way I roll."

Wordplay Joke

Asking questions to Afghan people in my town and recording the answers with a simple chart is no longer allowed,
There's a taliban.

Wordplay Joke

Which part of a man grows and grows the more you stroke it?
His ego.

Wordplay Joke

I hate it when people end a sentence with a question, dont you?

Wordplay Joke

I just found that lost thesaurus and I am unambiguously rhapsodic!

Wordplay Joke

I was interested to see a whole Colombian football team had been murdered by a group of left-wing guerrillas.
The prime suspects have been identified as Samuel Eto'o, Didier Drogba and Shaun Wright-Phillips.

Wordplay Joke

Went to a Chinese book store the other day, but couldn't find the book I wanted.
It was only on my way out I noticed that it was the Wong Foo Kin Book Store.

Wordplay Joke

I became disillusioned when I was kicked out of the Magic Circle.

Wordplay Joke

Im just going to post a few Christmas letters this year.
C R and S.....

Wordplay Joke

I'm so boring that even Smarter Child doesn't want to talk to me.

Wordplay Joke

Typical. I just copped off with the office bike and she's on her cycle.

Wordplay Joke

I just can't stop visiting vice girls, they've got a grip on me.

Wordplay Joke

The weather agrees with my racism
Its pure white out there!

Wordplay Joke

I went to the bank where I saw a group of people stood in a circle with a few trailing off in the corner
They were forming an orderly Q

Wordplay Joke

I woke up yesterday and I can't explain it, but I felt like I was a meadow all day - it was horrible.
Today is much better - I'm having a field day.