Wordplay Joke

After researching this site I have found that Racism and Wordplay are the top two rated categories.
Obama's a Sambo.

Wordplay Joke

"You don't take our relationship seriously, it's over!" my wife told me.
"Finish your sentence, over", I replied into my cup and string.

Wordplay Joke

I've got a new bit on the side.
I just hope it's not cancerous.

Wordplay Joke

I really like the word 'frequently,' I try and use it as often as I can.

Wordplay Joke

I asked my dad today if he knew the name of that yeast extract that you either love or hate.
"Marmite," He said.
"Okay," I replied, "I'll go and ask her."

Wordplay Joke

I saw an optical illusion once, it was a picture of a man who looked like he was moving but he actually wasn't.
He just had a removal van parked outside.

Wordplay Joke

What starts in E and ends in E but only contains one letter?
An envelope.

Wordplay Joke

For her birthday, my wife said she wanted a locket.
I didn't even know she had a sore throat.

Wordplay Joke

If you're not getting it your own way, don't use reverse psychology.
Or do.

Wordplay Joke

Why does the Avon lady walk funny?
Because her lipstick.

Wordplay Joke

My wife always tries to lose weight..... But it always finds her.

Wordplay Joke

I was invited to a red carpet premier last night.
My ginger girlfriend wanted me to lick her out for the first time.

Wordplay Joke

I've read about a third of a dictionary now but I'm still only on 'Introduction'.

Wordplay Joke

As I approached the banana skin lying on the pavement, I felt no fear.
I was wearing my Slipknot T-shirt.

Wordplay Joke

I got in the car with my drug dealer the other day.
He drove around slowly, before picking up speed.

Wordplay Joke

My daughter screamed when I did her hair up in pigtails.
She doesn't want to visit the abattoir again.

Wordplay Joke

Noone wins man of the match for Brighton.
They could've at least given it to somebody!

Wordplay Joke

There are a few hoodies in my wardrobe.
I'll let them out when they give me my phone back.

Wordplay Joke

I have a habit of sleeping in too late and missing work, so my doctor recommended that I sleep in a herb garden.
At first it sounded odd, but I did wake up on thyme.

Wordplay Joke

I cut the head off a chicken earlier. Five minutes later he was still running around like a very poor football clich.

Wordplay Joke

MSN News : 'Post-Mortems To Take Place On Flat Children'.
What's the point, they were obviously squashed.

Wordplay Joke

I met a Dutchman yesterday with sat-nav shoes. He never ever gets lost.
Clever clogs.

Wordplay Joke

I'm in love with an eel - that's a moray.

Wordplay Joke

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Taking the step out of Stephen Hawking.

Wordplay Joke

I've been tempted to ring the police as I've just been watching a horrible raping.
It's live on SkySports 1 now.