Wordplay Joke

In my post today there was a rapping magazine and some bananas.
Must be black mail.

Wordplay Joke

A detective i knew dropped his iPhone today
He cracked the case

Wordplay Joke

Robbie Williams got a phone call from America's best female bodyguard earlier.
She offered him protection.

Wordplay Joke

My wife is so fat she eats her dinner with a knife and forklift truck

Wordplay Joke

"Do you come here often?" asked the woman in the sperm clinic.

Wordplay Joke

I'm not saying I have trust issues, because you'll tell everybody.

Wordplay Joke

A friend of mine had a breakdancing accident so I popped into the hospital to see him.
He said "Alright, don't rub it in".

Wordplay Joke

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Wordplay Joke

I've always wanted to be an extra-orbital propulsion technician.
It sounds really hard.
But it's not rocket science.

Wordplay Joke

I think my girlfriend has got thrush,
In fact... scratch that

Wordplay Joke

I hate the old tramp who lives under the railway bridge.
He's my arch enemy.

Wordplay Joke

My English teacher tells me I should stop using verbs in place of adjectives.
I can't be doing with that.

Wordplay Joke

I poured my cat out some milk the other day
Still don't know how he got in there

Wordplay Joke

Newcastle are to get a new crime drama TV series.
It's called CS:YI

Wordplay Joke

This thing with the 33 Chilean miners stuck in a small room together underground is just like Big Brother.
They'll be boring for another two months as well.

Wordplay Joke

I'm fed up with 'Eat as much as you can' deals.

Wordplay Joke

I suck the end really slow and watch the white begin to flow.
I can't resist licking the rim before I thrust my tongue right in.
Cadbury's Cream Egg; How do you eat yours?

Wordplay Joke

For a joke, a friend of mine sprayed me with a liquid that turned quickly turned into a vapour that was dangerous to inhale.
I was fuming.

Wordplay Joke

I decided to write some jokes about my eyes.
They started off bad, but then they got cornea.

Wordplay Joke

I've found a website where, if you log on to it, they give you a free chain.
I'll send you the link.

Wordplay Joke

BBC News - "Lord made false claims". Everyone knows that.
As if he 'made the World in seven days'.

Wordplay Joke

I have been down the maternity ward and the nurses have been swearing at me and insulting me
I think I'm having a mid-wife crisis

Wordplay Joke

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, What are my choices?
Wife: Yes and No

Wordplay Joke

I told myself I'd apply for a new job around March and April. May, as well.

Wordplay Joke

Hollywood Bowl have opened a new bowling alley in Bradford,
It's called Bollywood Hole...