Wordplay Joke

How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.

Wordplay Joke

My wife is leaving me because I told her she overreacts too much.

Wordplay Joke

I went to the Fun Fair to play some games.
Turns out they weren't fun or fair.

Wordplay Joke

I just tried cancelling my job interview with a company that makes straight jackets.
But I couldn't get out of it.

Wordplay Joke

Liverpool F.C. looking to sign a hot prospect this summer that suits them and represents their city very well.
Robin Nans Pursie

Wordplay Joke

I have a friend who's so rabidly vegan she won't even listen to Fur Elise.

Wordplay Joke

Just bought a child's workbench...
It's a Kony Playstation.

Wordplay Joke

Just been thrown out of a Watch Repairs shop for staring at them while they worked.

Wordplay Joke

What does my wife say after I use the Iron?
" OUCH"

Wordplay Joke

My wife is organising a disco to raise money for water in Africa.
I don't know why, she could just have it at the village hall....

Wordplay Joke

I sometimes think of myself as being like the canary down the mine.
The judge, however, thinks I'm a paedophile.

Wordplay Joke

"Don't put your elbows on the table, it's rude",
...said one cannibal to the other.

Wordplay Joke

I got slated for stealing rooftiles.

Wordplay Joke

My girlfriend went weak at the knees when she saw me last night.
That's the last time I go for a spontaneous piggy-back.

Wordplay Joke

I walked into an interview shouting,
"Water, water, I need some water! or I'll die"
It's important to make a good thirst impression.

Wordplay Joke

I've learnt today to never judge a person who leaves clothes
outside charity shops,
until I've walked a mile in their shoes,

Wordplay Joke

Police are looking for the owner of stolen prosthetic leg.
They're asking anyone with information to step forward.

Wordplay Joke

Don't talk to me about plagiarism.
I mostly wrote the book on plagiarism.

Wordplay Joke

My mates think i'm weird thinking Maid Marian in Robin Hood is quite fit.
And why wouldnt I, she's a fox.

Wordplay Joke

I need to tell someone about my coconut touching fetish.
But I'm feeling a little shy.

Wordplay Joke

A fat chick on a jetty.
Now THAT'S peir pressure.

Wordplay Joke

If you hit someone with a dictionary, is it physical or verbal abuse?

Wordplay Joke

'Roy Hodgson spends four hours talking to F.A.'
It should've only been an hour but they kept laughing everytime he mentioned WeferWees.

Wordplay Joke

My alcoholic grandfather drank for England.
Until the national team was disbanded.

Wordplay Joke

I pulled the wrapper off my Penguin today and I was just about to eat it, When I was tackled to the ground..
And thrown out of the Zoo.