Wordplay Joke

What do you call a woman with wide shoulders?
Broad

Wordplay Joke

My fat friend has just told me that he's starring in the next series of The Biggest Loser...
I guess I'll be seeing less of him.

Wordplay Joke

BBC News: "Mr Fox challenges foreign aid pledge"
Fantastic.

Wordplay Joke

My son came home from school with a new bookmark
Where the teacher threw a hardback at him

Wordplay Joke

If you can only go left or right, and you know that left isn't right, then by a process of elimination, right must be right because it's the only way left.

Wordplay Joke

I took my gran for a an Indian last night. I ordered a Korma, and the waiter asked, "Would you like that on your naan?"
"No I'll have it on a plate please, it will get stuck in her hair".

Wordplay Joke

I bought Monopoly for 5 from a guy on a market.
I could tell I'd been had from the word GO.

Wordplay Joke

I used to be a banker.
But I lost interest.

Wordplay Joke

I hate my foster family..
I don't understand why the carlsberg family didn't want me...
They look like the best family in the world

Wordplay Joke

I used to be in a synchronised limbo dancing team, but my partner suddenly quit. How could anyone stoop solo?

Wordplay Joke

What's the most common Welsh chat-up line? Hey ewe.

Wordplay Joke

I've just made a clock out of sandpaper.
Times are rough.

Wordplay Joke

Nothing compares to my wife's parking......... It's unparalleled.

Wordplay Joke

I'm not saying my mate is a nerd but the closest he'll ever get to a supermodel is a good Airfix kit.

Wordplay Joke

Toerettes: The unavoidable stream of profanity occurring when you stub your toe.

Wordplay Joke

Thank Christ it's Easter.

Wordplay Joke

I have a chameleon skin jacket.
I like it because it goes with everything.

Wordplay Joke

BBC News: Could we live without flying?
"I think the answer's yes, but I doubt the Chinese could?"

Wordplay Joke

I got pulled for speeding last night.
She must have found it a big turn on.

Wordplay Joke

Which month is a Holocaust denier's favourite?
July.

Wordplay Joke

I don't like golfers who practise a lot, they are always off putting.

Wordplay Joke

My friend asked me if I ever used Ebuddy
I said "Nah, But somtimes I use heroinmate."

Wordplay Joke

The wife thinks I'm mad for putting glue on a pair of duelling pistols.
But I'm sticking to my guns

Wordplay Joke

My wife burnt the steak last night...
Well done.

Wordplay Joke

I've started cycling to work to do my bit for the environment.
I've never understood recycling though - why would I want to make the same journey twice?