Wordplay Joke

I really don't get these 'pokes' on Facebook...
I think It's because I have no friends.

Wordplay Joke

My wife keeps moaning about this fatal vomitting disorder she's been diagnosed with.
And frankly I'm sick to death of hearing about it.

Wordplay Joke

It's always hard work getting ready for the harvest, but as they say, no pain no grain.

Wordplay Joke

I hate arrogant anorexics, they just cant swallow their pride.

Wordplay Joke

I got a call from my mum yesterday complaining that buying her underwear for Christmas was an affront.
Actually it was a Y-Front

Wordplay Joke

I met the chinese version of Run DMC the other day
they told me to wok this way.

Wordplay Joke

I was sitting in the pub with my mate the other day when he said to me "I'm going to have a few pints then sort my problems out."
I always knew he was a Lager then Life kind of guy.

Wordplay Joke

I was telling my mate about this photo website me and my girlfriend were looking at the other night.
He said to me "Flickr?"
I said yeh for a while... but about this website.

Wordplay Joke

University
There's an app for that.

Wordplay Joke

My stupid dog is always fetching things for me that I don't want.
I get a lot of stick for it.

Wordplay Joke

After my wife threatened to call the police, I reluctantly had to pull out of the peodofile ring I was in. She's so understanding, I'm so lucky. She completely turned a blind eye to me finishing myself off all over his back.

Wordplay Joke

I watching the lightning out of my window last night, and I began to wonder how it all actually happens.
Then it struck me.

Wordplay Joke

My girlfriend keeps accusing me of cheating.
She just can't get it into her head that my '2 pair' beats her 'Flush'

Wordplay Joke

I don't care how many times my wife tries to suggest it.
I just will not admit to being stubborn.

Wordplay Joke

Im writing a book about psychic abilities,
I can see it being a best seller.

Wordplay Joke

Went to see Morning Glory last night. Imagine my disappointment when I realised it was a romcom.

Wordplay Joke

I've decided to break up with my wheelchair bound girlfriend. I've been carrying the relationship for far too long.

Wordplay Joke

Who is the Patron Saint of Australian problems?
St. ruth

Wordplay Joke

I was in the job centre this morning looking at jobs in the digital tv world, skys the limit i thought.

Wordplay Joke

Sky News: March in memory of stabbed Scottish teen.
"What's wrong with February the month he died in?"

Wordplay Joke

I read today about Keith Chegwin's long battle with alcohol abuse.
Well you know what they say..... Cheggers can't be Boozers

Wordplay Joke

I just bought some of the new Apocalypse cheese.
It's Best Before End.

Wordplay Joke

What do you call a muslim who's brought legal action against his own mother?
Mahsoud.

Wordplay Joke

The wife said she wants a corridor going down the middle of our house.
I said aisle sort it out.

Wordplay Joke

Time walks into a bar...
And gets wasted.