Wordplay Joke

I think it's time to try my hand at fisting.

Wordplay Joke

I walked past a kid the other day wearing a shirt advertising thebobbymoorefund.
I don't know what a bobbymoo refund is but I want one.

Wordplay Joke

Teacher: "Esrayriah,can you say your name backwards?"
Esrayriah:"No miss"

Wordplay Joke

Sculpturing...
It's hard to get your head round.

Wordplay Joke

Orange and Apple will make a great pear for the iPhone.

Wordplay Joke

I found an odd sock in the wash.
It asked me if I could wear it on my head.

Wordplay Joke

I went to watch the new movie "Little Children" at the cinema today.
I changed my facebook status to "Brb Watching Little Children".
Didn't go down too well.

Wordplay Joke

OK so today I got an old copy of The Sun, I cut out a picture of Ricky Hatton and stuck it to my TV screen.
I've been watching for about an hour now and I gotta say I'm really not impressed with this paper view boxing.

Wordplay Joke

I've got the memory of an elephant.
Mainly peanuts and the slaughter of my parents for ivory.

Wordplay Joke

I have a mock exam tomorrow. Everybody's going to stand around, pointing and laughing at me whilst I take a test.

Wordplay Joke

He said "You remind me of a pepper-pot."
"I'll take that as a condiment" I said.

Wordplay Joke

I was at a party the other night and joined the que for the fruit punch. Everybody was waiting their turn without any pushing in or impolite behaviour whatsoever. I thought, "Finally! A decent punchline!"

Wordplay Joke

In the news: 9 out of 10 Americans believe that in every 10 people, 1 American will always disagree with the other nine

Wordplay Joke

Someone once told me that the camera adds 10lbs.
Which is why I didn't pack it in my suitcase.

Wordplay Joke

I once set up a charity match of my football team against a team of Big Issue sellers. We won, but then we did have the home advantage.

Wordplay Joke

I got arrested for making a lot of counterfeit money in the 70's and 80's.
In hindsight I should probably have stuck to existing denominations.

Wordplay Joke

Just taken my Arabic A level.
I got an *A.

Wordplay Joke

How far do racist marathoners have to run?
Only 3 k's.

Wordplay Joke

Jedward are living proof that two half-wits don't make a wit.

Wordplay Joke

After a week in jail, I broke out. What's the best cure for acne?

Wordplay Joke

Atoms are what makes us all matter.

Wordplay Joke

Statistically 2 in 1 people are obese.

Wordplay Joke

I read a headline that said 'Man, 65 shot dead in Turkey'
I thought 'Dude, that's a lot of people'

Wordplay Joke

A man walked into a bar, and all the customers patted him on the backside.
"What sort of place is this," he yelled at the barman.
" A tapas bar."

Wordplay Joke

My allergy to dairy products is ruining my life and I've decided to end it all.
I'm going to take a cloverdose.