Wordplay Joke

I went to a swingers party last night in my army uniform
I had to leave my khakis in the bowl

Wordplay Joke

A new book has just been released about Maddy - 'Still missing, still missed.' I'd suggest asking the bloke who took a photo of 'what she looks like now' - he seems to be in the know

Wordplay Joke

What do you call a Sikh on a trampoline?
Boun-Singh

Wordplay Joke

If there are any joiners out there looking for work, my door is always open.

Wordplay Joke

I've just borrowed ten grand from a loan shark,
I'm not too worried about paying back it though, as long as I stay away from the Aquarium...

Wordplay Joke

Some stutter and stammer sufferers are stuck at the start of this sentence.

Wordplay Joke

Tottenham Hotspur have been beaten by the Kaizer Chiefs.
I predict a riot.

Wordplay Joke

I asked the girl in the pet grooming shop out to dinner. She couldnt make it, she was washing her hare. That old chesnut.

Wordplay Joke

What's the difference between a Captain and a Lieutenant Colonel?
There's a Major difference.

Wordplay Joke

If you get caught stealing a clean slate, does it go on your record?

Wordplay Joke

What do you call a women who sets fire to her mortgage bills ?
Bernadette.

Wordplay Joke

Standing on top of this train wondering what these overhead lines do.
Then it struck me

Wordplay Joke

My girlfriend bought me some camouflage boxer shorts today.
Looks like I'm going Commando.

Wordplay Joke

"Legs" is the word of the day.
Why not come back to my house and spread the word.

Wordplay Joke

I've just finished reading a magazine.
It was OK.

Wordplay Joke

I came up with a way of getting coal out of the ground.
Hope no one else thinks of the same idea - it's mine.

Wordplay Joke

I went to an Italian restaurant, and they had spaghetti on the menu.
So I had to call the waiter to wipe it off.

Wordplay Joke

How much is 200 pounds in America?
Underweight.

Wordplay Joke

I don't trust Dannii Minogue.
Her i's are too close together.

Wordplay Joke

I've just got back from Rome, their TV is behind the times They don't even call it ITV +1 out there, they call it IITV.

Wordplay Joke

The secrets of the baking industry are given out only on a knead to dough basis.

Wordplay Joke

BBC news: Fire hits Oxfam warehouse in Huddersfield.
It must have been like bonfire night with all those flares going up.

Wordplay Joke

There's something about the News of the World that I don't like, but I can't quite work out what it is.
It's been bugging me for a while.

Wordplay Joke

I saw OCDC once.
They played all their hits in alphabetical order.

Wordplay Joke

Earl Grey goes down very nicely in the afternoon.
According to Lady Grey.