Wordplay Joke

I love church singers
Apparently it's a choired taste

Wordplay Joke

I just came all over my new girlfriend's rack,
I think she's going to break up with me when she gets home and see's the stain on her dress.

Wordplay Joke

Just seen the Spanish version of The Highlander
There can be only Juan

Wordplay Joke

Joe Bloggs.
About what?

Wordplay Joke

Sky news -
'Fighting Focuses On Gaddafi's Home Town'
I never knew Ford made transformers...

Wordplay Joke

There's a thin line between obsessive and compulsive.
It's a hyphen

Wordplay Joke

I was locked in a house of cards earlier.
It was solitaire confinement.

Wordplay Joke

If anyone wants to complain about me, I invite them to use a microphone placed next to a large speaker.
I always like to get feedback.

Wordplay Joke

I think you know you take your neighbourhood watch duties a bit too seriously when you buy a cape

Wordplay Joke

I bought a Pole at the slave trading expo yesterday.
Paid with a Czech.

Wordplay Joke

I hate it when people make jokes about the Polish.
I mean, it makes my shelves look ever so shiny.

Wordplay Joke

Pulled a girl who said she'd sleep with me only if I promised to call her Back.
Strange nickname I thought.

Wordplay Joke

My daughter is obsessed with shoes, and for her birthday she stated she wanted a brand news pair of Vans.
What she's planning to do with two transits ill never know.

Wordplay Joke

My neighbours got angry when I nailed all the gates shut on my street.
I should have known it would cause a fence.

Wordplay Joke

I've just found ten dead bodies in my fridge.
It must be a serial chiller.

Wordplay Joke

I'm fed up in my job at the moment. I want to become a cash register engineer.
I think the change would do me good.

Wordplay Joke

I saw an old friend working in ASDA today.
He said, "I haven't seen you since the customer help desk closed down. How have you been?"
I said, "Can't complain"

Wordplay Joke

Just seen a non-pirate version of the new Johnny Depp film.
Very boring, just lots of sea.

Wordplay Joke

Have I ever told you guys about the time I tied my shoe laces with only the power of my mind?
Thought knot.

Wordplay Joke

I've finally met Miss Right.
I knew there would be a stroke victim willing to put up with my jokes.

Wordplay Joke

Walking down the hotel corridor, I came to a door that had 'Refuse' written on it.
So I didn't go in.

Wordplay Joke

Daily Mail: "How's that for a remarkable young man? Cricket prodigy is talented spin bowler despite having NO HANDS"
Unfortunately when he goes into bat he's always stumped.

Wordplay Joke

My new neighbour moved in the other day, he's a muslim. He's called Brad and he drives a Ford.

Wordplay Joke

I'm always falling out with my friends.
We're skydivers.

Wordplay Joke

Went up to the counter at an airport and said, "BUKAHH! BUK BUK BUKAAAHH!!"
The clerk said, "Sorry sir. This is the check-in desk."