Wordplay Joke

I saw the Williams sisters knocking up at Wimbledon yesterday .... they were brilliant at hitting the ball without it bouncing ...
The best Volleywogs I've ever seen

Wordplay Joke

I used to love my job artificially inseminating animals at the zoo.
But now I couldn't give a monkey's toss.

Wordplay Joke

I watched an Asian lad get a right leathering by 3 youths today, each using an end bit of water tube ...
I was enjoying it that much, I forgot to remind them about a hosepipe ban

Wordplay Joke

Just talked to the doctor about my crippling leg injury. An amputation is afoot...

Wordplay Joke

I've just vomited on my fitness instructor.
I'm always sick on coaches.

Wordplay Joke

Earlier today I walked through an estate where everyone was dressed like Biggles.
Must be a pilot scheme.

Wordplay Joke

The BBC asks 'Are we looking forward to the Olympics?' ... you have to think about cutbacks, especially the Special Olympics ...
Perhaps cancel the high jump, as I don't think they will get it off the ground.

Wordplay Joke

I laid on a picnic for my girlfriend.
It completely ruined the sandwiches.

Wordplay Joke

So i made a new book about herbal spiritualism, and a bunch of stoners already made a religion about it.
They call it Bud-ism

Wordplay Joke

I was watching the Sky the other night, trying to spot anything extraordinary really.
To my astonishment I was almost sure I'd seen a black hole!
Thank you channel 906

Wordplay Joke

You have to shorten a Caucasian to get an Asian.

Wordplay Joke

Getting a puncture on top of a hill is the highest form of flattery.

Wordplay Joke

The girl who works down my local abattoir is stunning!

Wordplay Joke

I love the way garages leave black buckets outside for your dead flowers.

Wordplay Joke

My wife is leaving me tomorrow because she is creeped out by my psychic powers.

Wordplay Joke

"Your handwriting is terrible."
Was just one of the reasons I lost my job at the tattoo parlour.

Wordplay Joke

I was listening to my grandfather's favorite record when the player fell off the table and smashed.
I'm not going to hear the end of it.

Wordplay Joke

I've been feeling down all evening...
I think my duvet has split.

Wordplay Joke

I've just seen the 10,000m final...
Looks like Mr Farah was running in fast Mo.

Wordplay Joke

The invisible man marries the invisible woman.
Their kids were nothing to look at either.

Wordplay Joke

When we got divorced my wife took me to the cleaners.
I'm still not sure why we couldn't go to court like everyone else.

Wordplay Joke

Cuba:
It's a pro-Castro nation.

Wordplay Joke

I actually tried plane sailing the other day....
It's not as easy as it's made out to be.

Wordplay Joke

enrolled in parachute school the other week, unfortunately i had to drop out

Wordplay Joke

What do you do if you see a fireman?
Put it out man