Wordplay Joke

Windows.
Such a pane.

Wordplay Joke

Police are searching for a thief who robs his victims by threatening them with a lit match.
They want to catch him before he strikes again.

Wordplay Joke

I was playing Scrabble and put down S-P-A-S-T-I-C.
Got a cripple word score for that.

Wordplay Joke

What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.

Wordplay Joke

Osama was found today: talk Abbotabad place to hide!

Wordplay Joke

The best thing about being single is sleeping around.
You can sleep all over that lonely bed of yours: left, right, middle, whatever.

Wordplay Joke

I'll never predict the future.

Wordplay Joke

I was having dinner with Mr T and he said, "Don't talk with your mouth full!"
I said, "How else would I talk? And I ain't no fool."

Wordplay Joke

My Dad loves The Beatles and has all but one of the original L.P. records with autographed sleeves. I think he needs Help.

Wordplay Joke

Well the judge said that from now on I can only see my children with supervision.
I said why, how far away will they be?

Wordplay Joke

I can't understand why my new automatic Glade air freshener doesn't work even though I've just put brand new batteries in it.
It doesn't make scents.

Wordplay Joke

Try braking, it gives your driving a bit of 00mph.

Wordplay Joke

I've just been banned from an online fashion forum.
Apparently my threads weren't cool enough.

Wordplay Joke

A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Have you been served?"

Wordplay Joke

I was being interviewed for a job at McDonald's. "An obvious example is Simon Cowell," I said. "His are approximately two inches below his nipples."
Puzzled, the interviewer asked, "What on earth are you talking about?"
"You asked me to talk about high jean levels," I replied.

Wordplay Joke

I just received my award for builder of the year 2011.
All because I drill like a bosch.

Wordplay Joke

I was taking the motorway out of London the other day. A policeman pulled me over and said: 'Put it back'.

Wordplay Joke

There's nothing unique about today's date...
My German wife has been screaming it for years.

Wordplay Joke

As a child I enjoyed reading "Spot The Dog".
They were a lot easier than "Where's Wally".

Wordplay Joke

My mate finally finished writing his book about cooking with herbs. It's about thyme.

Wordplay Joke

I accidentally dropped a piece of paper into a rockery. Utter carnage. The rocks never stood a chance.

Wordplay Joke

I've decided to take the day off today.
I'm just going to call it to.

Wordplay Joke

A dress of Amy Winehouse sold for 43,200 today.
That sounds excessive, but you have to remember a lot of needlework went into it.

Wordplay Joke

News: British man loses leg after ignoring shark warning.
Bet he's kicking himself now.

Wordplay Joke

I travel the land,
Asking rides from kind strangers:
I'm a hitchhaiku.