Wordplay Joke

I have never really been one for beating around the bush when it comes to women.
I normally just stick it straight in there.

Wordplay Joke

I went to a University Challenge-themed restaurant.
I thought the mains were a bit pricey at 25 pounds each so I just got a starter for 10.

Wordplay Joke

I went to the Natural History Museum and saw the two bees that Noah supposedly took with him.
They were in the archives.

Wordplay Joke

I got battered on the weekend.
Then served with chips, mushy peas and a lemon wedge.
That put me in my plaice.

Wordplay Joke

This has to be the coldest November in twelve months...

Wordplay Joke

I've got a brown paper bag, it really takes my breath away.
Then gives me it back again.

Wordplay Joke

I went into a stationary shop to buy some paper clips but they gave me metal ones.

Wordplay Joke

I heard the AA are going on strike...
Does that mean their going to give up drinking then?

Wordplay Joke

I'm the breadwinner.
These Bakery raffles are getting boring now.

Wordplay Joke

I was devastated when my house burnt down with my wife inside.
I should have waited until she got out of prison.

Wordplay Joke

I'm a fan of sky sports.
I managed to shoot a couple of paragliders down yesterday.

Wordplay Joke

DJ Baby P can't mix tapes,
but Madeleine McCann.

Wordplay Joke

I went to Billy Haley's Chip shop the other night. "I said what fish have you got".
He said we've got "Skate, Haddock and Sole".

Wordplay Joke

The Sun makes me really sticky.
Maybe I should just skip page 3

Wordplay Joke

There was a demonstration in town yesterday; people with placards saying "Remember Victims of the Arms Race".
For the rest of the day I thought hard about the poor T Rex.

Wordplay Joke

Whats the difference between Sickipedia and an identical twin?
You don't bury an identical twin just because its a duplicate.

Wordplay Joke

The girlfriend asked me if I liked her little "surprise".
While I was asleep she covered me in a combination of hardwood, parquet, carpet and ceramic tiles.
"Liked" doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. She completely floored me.

Wordplay Joke

Although I am a fan of all the Thomas 'Mueller Corner' jokes there have been on here I can't help but feel international football's comentary wordplay reached its zenith at Euro 96 in the days of Seaman coming out to smother Kuntz

Wordplay Joke

My mate keeps trying to convince me he is a savoury biscuit.
I think he's crackers

Wordplay Joke

I just bought myself the ADD version of

Wordplay Joke

I invested all my money into a potato farm which went bankrupt, my life is in taters.

Wordplay Joke

It would make sense for shortcuts to be longer.
If they were quicker they would just be called 'the way'.

Wordplay Joke

I failed the test at the end of my anger management course.
It was a cross examination.

Wordplay Joke

I just thought of a great name for my new brothel that i've opened up.
I couldn't have it though, apparently "Gash4Gold" was already taken?

Wordplay Joke

People that start revolutions are just going around in circles.