Wordplay Joke

I know this bloke who is a good-looking road sweeper.
He scrubs up well.

Wordplay Joke

There was a guy, who one day had had enough with mediocrity, that decided to try and hit the big time by expanding his paddling pool business. So he sought out a specialist, and asked what he needed to do in order to make it work.
The specialist mysteriously replies, 'Ahhh, depends.'
The owner, clearly not happy with this answer, demands the specialist to say what he means.
'No, no, no! You've misinterpreted what I said' explains the specialist, 'I meant you need deep ends!'

Wordplay Joke

The closest I ever come to recycling is doing the same route every day on my mountain bike.

Wordplay Joke

Why did my sister quit being a Jehovah's witness?
She got knocked up.

Wordplay Joke

I sprayed my angry black friend with bleach.
I was trying to lighten him up.

Wordplay Joke

I find it quite hard talking to Children.
But I've noticed if I shift my leg to the side they don't notice

Wordplay Joke

I got run over by three old men going down a hill in a bathtub. Can I claim for compo?

Wordplay Joke

President Hugo Chavez made a triumphant address to the nation, on returning to Venezuela after cancer surgery.
For his first appearance, thousands of supporters went Caracas.

Wordplay Joke

I was caught fingering a bird in a cupboard at my club and chucked out
..... Looking back it probaly was against RSPB rules

Wordplay Joke

The wife dragged me round the shops earlier and when we were standing in Cath Kidston I noticed a really scruffy Arab standing next to me.
I think he was a shabby Sheikh.

Wordplay Joke

For a laugh I stuck a potato up my mates car exhaust.
He had the last laugh though, when it shot out and hit me in the eye.
Looks like It backfired.

Wordplay Joke

The one rule of the Monarchs club is that one rules

Wordplay Joke

I was telling the police about how my wife was killed while we were on holiday in Spain
"Granada?" they asked.
"No just a gas explosion" I replied.
Can't catch me out that easily

Wordplay Joke

Round Robin.
It's aged Batman's obese sidekick.

Wordplay Joke

BBC News: Libyan City Key in Future.
Couldn't they just fight over another city while a new one is cut?

Wordplay Joke

BBC News: Libyan City Key in Future.
Couldn't they just fight over another city while a new one is cut?

Wordplay Joke

I've had no luck in starting up my hide and seek adventure holiday's business, I just can't find anyone to help.

Wordplay Joke

I have no idea where my girlfriend is coming from the majority of time.
Thats probably why she wants to break up.

Wordplay Joke

My friend lives in a cave and asked me to buy him a chocolate bar ... So I did, but when I get back to him he starts moaning at me. Couldn't hear what he was saying though because of the echo.

Wordplay Joke

I was so bored at work today I was climbing the walls,
it does get quite tedious being a rock climbing instructor sometimes.

Wordplay Joke

If a guy comes up to you telling you his name is 'Hype'...
Don't believe him.

Wordplay Joke

The fire alarm went off at the local hospital last night. It was the only thing I could think of which used the same type of batteries as my toy lightsaber.

Wordplay Joke

Just started work at the glue factory and already I'm starting to bond with my workmates.

Wordplay Joke

I've just defused a black guys afro.
They're trying anything to smuggle explosives on planes nowadays.

Wordplay Joke

My wife knows hundreds of photography jokes.
You can't shutter up.